Friday, August 24, 2012

A Follow Up To Bailey's Shoe Drive

Valentine: Birthday girl the gift-giver to foster children

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

For her birthday, Vacaville girl wants shoes -- for others

For her birthday, Vacaville girl wants shoes -- for others

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

8-year-old decides to share birthday

Foster kids benefit from big-hearted wish
Top Photo
Parents by Choice Executive Director Tony Yadon, right, show bags given to foster children to Tyler Napier, 8, left, and Tyler’s mom, Donna Postier. Napier’s $150 donation may be used for bags at Parents by Choice, a service for foster children.CALIXTRO ROMIAS/The Record

Keith Reid

STOCKTON - Tyler Napier, under normal circumstances, would have spent Monday morning running through his house shooting the brand-new Nerf Blaster he received on his June 4 birthday.
Instead, there is no Nerf Blaster, and the 8-year-old Beckman Elementary School student spent Monday morning in the office of the nonprofit Parents by Choice organization, donating $150 that came to him on his birthday.

"It was a very humbling experience, because this young man has done a very generous deed," said Tony Yadon, the foster-parenting organization's executive director.

Parents by Choice is an organization that works with foster children and foster parents. It helps train foster parents to create a loving family environment, Yadon said.

Tyler said he wanted to donate his birthday gifts to help foster children. Turns out, his birthday money should help 60 to 70 of them. The $150 will pay for duffel bags filled with some personal items - toiletries, a toy or two and a blanket.

Yadon said the duffel bags are an important item for children his group works with. Many children come to them with nothing but the clothes they have on.

"A lot of the kids that come to us don't have anything of their own. To us, it's really important that they get something that is theirs," Yadon said. "They take the duffel bag with them, and it stays with them."

Tyler's mother, Donna Postier, said her son was not prodded by an adult to ask for cash in lieu of birthday presents this year.

"He saw something on the Disney Channel where a girl collected shoes to donate to foster kids," Postier said. "He said he really wanted to do something like that."

So, Postier started posting her son's idea on Facebook and the response from her friends and family was immediately positive. Gifts ranging from $5 to $20 started coming in for Tyler.

Even though it's not the Nerf Blaster he would have wanted otherwise, Tyler said he will always remember his 8th birthday.

"It made me feel really good," Tyler said. "I wanted to help some other kids."

Contact reporter Keith Reid at (209) 546-8257 or Visit his blog at

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Positive Parenting

Parents by Choice is proud to announce our new Positive Parenting Program!

Being a parent is hard work. But help is available.  Through our Positive Parenting Program, Parents by Choice offers FREE parenting groups designed to reduce stress and improve the atmosphere of your home. In this program, we offer small groups of 6-10 people who will meet each week for six weeks. Through these groups, you will learn skills and techniques that you can put into practice right away!

Our groups are relaxed and casual, and will help you build on the skills and knowledge you already have. You will receive a workbook, dinner and childcare at no cost. We would love to have you join us...and you’ll be glad you did.

Please visit for more information, and to register.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Girls' Spa Day - Saturday, March 10th!

Join us for a very pink event - our first ever "Girl's Spa Day!" Geared for our moms and girls, this will feature pedicures, manicures, treats, a chocolate fountain and much, much more!

Here are the details:
Date: Saturday, March 10th
Time: 11AM - 3PM
Location: Carson Oaks Community Church, 6605 N. Alturas, Stockton, CA
RSVP by calling (209) 478-4554

We hope you will join us!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

California Changes Law, Gives Teens More Options

January 1, 2012 was a monumental day for California teens in foster care! On this day, the law changed to allow teens to remain in foster care until the age of 20, rather than be forced to exit at 18.

Known as Assembly Bill 12 (AB 12), or "Extended Foster Care," this change comes about because of the hard work of professionals, groups, and former foster youth who have witnessed the difficulties and hardships faced by the kids who have been forced to exit California's foster care system before they were ready.

Some of the highlights of this change include:
  • Voluntary participation. Youth have options, and can stay or leave.
  • Their decision isn't final! They can change their minds and return to care at any time.
  • A variety of placement options. Youth can remain with their foster parent, live with a friend, roommate, or on their own.

At Parents by Choice, we are actively searching for families who are willing to serve this important and growing population. These young adults are facing a critical period in life, and need guidance, support and stability!

More information can be found by contacting us: or by visiting

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Reacting vs. Responding, by Dr. Brian Post

The following is from Dr. Brian Post ( on the difference between reacting and responding in parenting and child-raising:

Raising a family brings with it an enormous sense of responsibility or is it reactivity? I like to distinguish between a response and a reaction. A response is a consciously motivated, loving action, whereas reaction is an unconsciously motivated, fear based action. The subtle distinction between the two is substantial, and a very fine line.

And what of responsibility versus reacting in family? It's the difference between a family that enjoys more peace and connection versus one fraught with underlying tension and resentment. Again the difference is subtle. Both families can look exactly the same. Smiling on the outside, equivalent stressors related to life, work, paying bills, the economy, etc. but the internal experience is drastically different. One family experiences stress and tension and reacts to it with increasing frustration, resentment and sometimes hatred. They are still good people. They still relate to the outside world with love, compassion, and empathy, but internally they are in survival. Primarily the sense of survival is only experienced within the home. Occasionally it
seeps out and is witnessed by the outside world. However we in the outside world are typically absorbed by our own challenges and stressors so the glimpse is only fleeting and quickly passes through our conscious minds.

Yet, the family living in a state of responsibility also looks the same. They have the same bills, same concerns about the economy, but it is their stance towards responsibility that makes the difference. Responsibility is not being victimized. Responsibility is choosing to be response-able. Taking full responsibility for how one feels, thinks, and acts in any given moment. This brings freedom and empowerment because the only bondage that we might carry from this perspective
is the bondage we clasp on ourselves. This family takes the good with the bad while expecting the bad to only last so long before the good returns and then it starts all over again. As Spencer Johnson alluded to in Peaks and Valleys, the sooner we learn from the valleys the longer we can dwell on the peaks.

A family is nothing more than an energetic system. A bunch of cells enmeshed with one another creating a pulsating, interconnected organism. Not entirely different than the way we are all energetically, universally connected, but rather just more intimately connected. So what causes the breakdown of our family peace and connectedness? Blame and fear which stem from stress. When we blame, operate out of fear, hostility and resentment, it is a reflection that we are facing our deepest fear and rather than seeking to transcend it we are being victimized by it. In this manner we also become victimized by those around us that continue to bring our fear to the present.

The take-home lesson is to know from your own experience, the difference in your life and your family's, reacting vs. responding. There are some key words to watch for which point to reacting - blame, shame or guilt. Likewise, these key words point to responding - acceptance, patience &
understanding. Which do you?

Tip: "You can observe a lot by watching" - Yogi Berra