Our Mission

"What exactly do you guys do at Parents by Choice?"

This question comes my way on a regular basis. The technical answer is that we're a foster family agency--a non-profit organization that finds and trains families to care for children in California's foster care system.

But perhaps a better answer can be given by telling the story of my day yesterday.

The story starts, like most of our stories do, with a phone call. The call was from a social worker from a nearby county whom I've worked with many times before. She had a young man (I'll call him "Tim") who desperately needed a place to stay. Tim is 14, with no place to go. He'd had a fight with his caretaker, a family member who refused to allow him to return home. The police had taken Tim to a shelter for the night, while social workers scurried to find a new place for him to stay.

Thankfully, Parents by Choice had built a reputation as a trustworthy organization with this social worker. She said we were her very first option.

Thankfully, I had a family that had been screened and trained for just such a situation. Within 20 minutes, we arranged to pick up Tim and transport him to his new home.

Usually, I'm not the one to provide transportation, but yesterday was the exception. I arrived at the shelter just as Tim was finishing breakfast. The social workers at the shelter introduced me to Tim: "Tony is with Parents by Choice. We know they'll take good care of you." I couldn't ask for a better introduction! Tim offered me a sheepish smile and a handshake. No fuss, no attitude, no resistance. Just a few quiet questions about what was going to happen. He trusted me.

We left after signing paperwork and gathering Tim's stuff. The second wasn't hard, because he was travelling light--he had a single backpack containing pajamas. No change of clothes. No personal items. Just the clothes on his back, and something to sleep in.

My immediate thoughts as we drove away were: "This is a sweet kid. He doesn't deserve to be here!" We talked about video games, sports and his dad as we drove. It was obvious that his dad was his hero--"My dad and I used to drive this road. He would take me to that restaurant." Tim told me about cities he and his dad had lived in together, and things they had done. His shyness was gone as he shared story after story.

We stopped by Target to pick up some things…after all, Tim would start school the next day. He found two t-shirts and a pair of jeans to his liking. I tried to get him to choose a “Sesame Street” shirt, or one with Chuck Norris jokes on it, but he went with something a little more conservative. We also bought underclothes and other personal items. He was easy to please, polite and thankful.

Back in the car, he said: “I hope my new school has a wrestling program. I got to do that last year, and it was fun!” We talked about his school, his new home and neighborhood. I told him about the camping trips and events that we at Parents by Choice like to do with kids.

After arriving at his new home and introducing him to his family, my time with him was done for now. I’d check in regularly with him to make sure he was doing okay. Our staff would visit his home once a week, like we do with all of our kids. Because, you see, our mission is not just to provide a bed for Tim, but to make sure he’s safe, healthy, and well taken-care of. Tim’s relationship with myself and Parents by Choice has just begun.

As I backed out of the driveway and headed back to my office, I said a simple prayer for Tim. “Watch over him, Lord” I prayed. It seemed to me that the message I heard in return was: “I will…and I’ll use Parents by Choice to do so.”